Farewell

I have given this a lot of thought. It is just so hard to be consistent, or at least to the level I want to be at, when the kids are not in school and with summer coming, it is just not going to be pretty!! Also, this has started to feel like a job and I don't ever want that to be the case, so I am going to give it up before it gets unbearable, ya know?

Saturday's Deep Thoughts

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. - Abraham Lincoln

Saturday's Deep Thoughts

People who give are never poor - Anne Frank

I hate unnecessary drama

My three young boys go to a private school. It is not the most expensive private school there is, but it is smaller and the parents are involved and all.

The older two (who are in 5th and 6th grades) have been asking to go to the public middle school next year if the house has not sold yet and I finally broke down and am planning to let them. However, what always bothered me was that the youngest would then not have a great reason to go to the private school alone and we really liked the pre-K teacher there. I did not pre-register him, but that still bothered me almost daily.

And then there was drama. I hate drama.

The school decided that the teacher would not be invited back in the fall because she did not have her teaching certificate. Nevermind that she was actively pursuing it and was only two classes away, or the fact that she was not told there was a deadline. The school made it a lot easier not to have him go back! But now I have no idea what I am going to do with him next year. It was a great program and I am sure I will not be able to challenge him nearly as much at home. The good news is that he will be 4, so he is not legally required to go to anything. The bad news is that I cherish the time they are in school and when they are not, I do not get anything done!

There was NEVER any drama at the school until this year. I do not want to point fingers or anything, but I have a theory that, at this point, falls into the category of conspiracy-theory...

I just want the house to sell now so I can get as far away from these people as possible!!

"free" stuff on the internet - is it really free?

I woke up with a start on Sunday and thought "Oh no! I did not do a deep thought for Saturday this week." So I hope you will forgive me. It was just a LONG weekend!

My son - who is going for be 11 in a week - thinks that when something on the internet says "free" then it is. Despite trying to teach him about what else he might have to pay for and whatnot, he just doesn't get it. And this morning, that was brought home to us again.

We got the mail from Saturday when we took the kids to school because before that, we just forgot. In it was the phone bill. The phone bill jumped almost $20 this month, so we were shocked and confused! There was a charge on the bill for "enhanced voice mail" which we do not have. So we call AT&T and they tell us it was added and authorized by a third party and only they can take it off. Then, we call them and they tell us that our son added it while downloading "free" music from the internet, which was stupid. But they also asked for confirmation of your birth date and he LIED about his age. I am livid. I can totally get how they may have tricked him, but we told him not to sign up for anything and this is why! He has been asking for an "iTunes account" to which I keep saying no because he cannot be trusted and he has again proven why... I am so mad I could spit!

I am not old enough to...

This is my last age post. I was going to say "I swear..." but I will not make that sort of promise, because who knows what the future holds. It is enticing to think that I say it and then post again and you all have to respond to call me out on it, but I don't roll that way....

But I digress.

Anyway, I was just thinking that at this age, my mom was an empty-nester and my youngest is not quite 4! I have 14 more years of having them live here and if I had done it differently, I could be done! Don't get me wrong, I love them to death, but the oldest two are just at that age where they are "challenging"! (Gotta love the 'tween ages!)

I also had an anniversary over the weekend and I just keep thinking that when my own parents celebrated the SAME anniversary, I was a senior in high school and my YOUNGER brother was also in high school. All three of my kids are under 12!

I am having several moments where I keep thinking about how I compare to others. And I try not to compare myself to others very often, but this is just one of those things that lends itself quite easily to comparisons, so I do it.

ARGH! I know it can and will make me nuts, but I can't help it!!

Milestone Birthday

I had a milestone birthday over the weekend.

First of all, my birthday was on Saturday (April 25!) and I spent all day at a track meet with 2 of the kids. I did tell DH that I was NOT going to take the youngest because I thought I could just relax. And then, when I got there, I got a "job" with the track coach. I was the "runner" between the coaches. Fortunately, they did not need too much, but I was at the ready AND on the track "infield" all day. I was so happy to SIT at lunch!! And I had to get up and be showered before 6:30AM. On a Saturday. That was just not right! And then the youngest woke me up at 4:45AM. That night I was WIPED!

That day was also my anniversary and I had a dinner plan for DH and I, but man, I was wiped! I planned the frugal version on an anniversary dinner. I got something frozen and a bag of chips for the kids. DH fed them while I was out. Then he and I had takeout and a couple bottles of beer and the kids watched a movie on another LEVEL of the house. They were great about leaving us alone.

The dinner plan was a picnic with takeout and a bottle of champagne, but DH did not want to sit on the ground - he said bad knees - and he thought the champagne did not go with the meal, so it was beer. I wondered if it was special enough, but without the kids around, he said it was...

I never said what the milestone was, did I? I turned 40 over the weekend! Yikes! The good news is that I had 3 people tell me last week that I did not look 40 and I even got carded once!

To celebrate the birthday, DH hosted a low-key cookout last night and I was amazing!

I had a little angst about 40 for the few weeks beforehand. I was not worried about immediate mortality and all, but I am worried that there may be more years behind me then before me. And I also remember that when I was younger, I thought 40 was ANCIENT!

I feel like there are so many people younger than me that have dome such amazing things! I want to do something amazing too!!

If momma ain't happy...

I did the weekly knitting group this morning and I am now so happy. All it takes is some alone time for me (NOT at the grocery store) and I am a happy girl!

I have decided that I need 3-4 hours a week to myself to be a nice person to those around me. Initially, that sounds like a lot. And maybe when the kids are home, that is not as realistic, but with them all in school, I think I can swing it. And the old saying is true - "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" Normally I hate this horrible grammar, but in this case, it works!

Thank goodness!

The kids have gone back to school today after a good, but LONG staycation for Spring Break. Their last day of school was the Thursday before Easter, so it was a LONG break. The first few days were a little cold and windy, but we had friends visiting from Australia, which was extremely fun, so that was great and then when they were gone, midweek, it was nice enough to go out. We ended up going to a different park for 4 days, which was fun. They complained almost the whole time we were at 2 of them, but after, they were glad they went and "sorry" for their behavior.

So now they are back at school and all is right with the world again! I can't get anything done when they are home from school!!!

Saturday's Deep Thoughts

My favorite quote ever: What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? Dr. Robert Schuller

And here is what he has written on Amazon.com.

Knitting in College

I wish I had learned to knit while I was in college. Although, maybe it was a good thing I did not yet know how to do it because I would have likely gotten bad grades...

My middle son (who is 10) just learned how to knit and I am trying not to push him too hard into it. I know he is really motivated by the idea of having cash (he is already talking about getting his first HS job and how much he will make after college!) so I keep telling him just that if he keeps at it and practices he can probably make things to sell in HS and college. We will see if that is enough motivation for him.

So many options, so little time...

So I am at a career cross-roads now. (aren't we all?) I thought that this would be a great time to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up, even if I was already pushing 40 (and pushing it HARD). I was always one of those people who thought there were 100 things I would rather be doing if only this day job would go away...

My problem now is that I am paralyzed by all the potential out there. There are dozens of things I want to do or try and they are all very different from one another. So how do I choose? Obviously I need to focus on something in order to create a plan going forward and I want to do something that I love, but I am also to the point where I have put in a lot of time in my other career, so it would not be the smartest thing ever to let that all go away...

I just don't know. There are so many things I want to try and maybe if I was officially a SAHM, I could try them all, but I know that would not make me happy either so it is a conundrum!

There was so much to say today that it was hard for me to figure out where to focus my energy...

Yesterday we showed the house. It is starting to get old. No, it has been old now for several months. I know that much of it is the economy and all, but I just want to move on with my life! It has now been on the market for 10 months, and in that time NOT ONE house in our area in our price range has closed, so I know it is not just me. In all that time, we have only had 3 showings too, which is probably the most frustrating thing of all. If people were looking at it and not liking something, we could change it. But of the few people who have looked, the comments have not been bad. They are either not interested in the style or size of the house, which is not going to change!

Probably the worst part about living in a house that is for sale (and there are A LOT of bad things, but this is probably the worst) is that you feel like you cannot really "live" in the house. We did MINIMAL Christmas decorations (like nothing besides the tree and stockings) and nothing for any other holidays. And now that the weather is getting nice again, I have to work on the yard, which I hated to do before, so I have almost no motivation to love it now!

And we just got the feedback from the showing yesterday and they think it is a little too big. I had high hopes because they were here so long!! It may never end. We are not desperate to sell, but I think we might lower the price now just because we want it to be over!!

Saturday's Deep Thoughts

Sports practice after school needs to be balanced with the weekend meets (trrack) to determine if it is worth it!

Technology

I thought I was techno-savvy. I can navigate my way around a PC and I am all over most gadgets.

Then DH decided to go back to school and change careers to be a networking guy. I now know that I know NOTHING when it comes to technology. I still love gadgets and all that, and I probably know more than average, but that is where it end and I am OK with that now. It did take me a few months to come to terms with the fact that this was his expertise, but now that I am there, we are all good.

I am learning daily about a lot of things still, but most of them are applications and analysis of data (like SEO and such) and he is the guru of all things internal to a PC or a network. Together we make a great pair and comprise the whole package, no?

Twitter vs. Facebook

I hate to admit that I am on both twitter and facebook and I read them religiously and post to them quite a bit. However, to me, they have very different purposes. I know this is different for everyone, and it should be.

I use facebook primarily for friends in real life or people I went to school with or whatever. I use twitter for people I have not met, but based on their interests or mine, would maybe like if I were to ever meet them or even lived near them. The good thing about this is that I have varied interests and while there are not many people with the same combination of interests as I have, there are a lot of "specialists" out there with one of my interests and they will talk about it in great detail!

This may not work for everyone, but I do think it is important, at least for me, to keep these two areas separate, and this method of doing that works quite well for me.

I think of both groups as my friends, which I know might be pathetic, but it works out well that I know that I might run into one group of people and have them recognize me.

Does it change what I write? Not yet, but it might. I know that a lot of people might put stuff up on a site where they don't know people that might sound more critical then they are in person, but that just isn't me.

Do you twitter or facebook?

More fondant...

So two weeks ago I made a cake and covered it with fondant. The post is here. Yesterday, I made another cake and used the leftover fondant.

It tasted amazing. I wanted to make a cake from scratch, so I made the chocolate cake on the box of Hershey Cocoa. It turned out OK. It called for two 9" round cake pans. I only have 8", but I figured it would be close enough. Well, it went over. Thank goodness for a rimmed baking pan below it in the oven. It tasted great, but did not end up looking pretty... It also stuck in the middles of the pan, despite a generous amount of non-stick spray in the pan. Not sure what is up with that. But I did get to eat the part that stayed in the pan, so it was fine by me! When the batter got done, it was really runny, which the recipe said, so it was not a surprise to me, but I was not sure how it would end up cake. Maybe that is why it stuck. I do not know, but I am not sure I will make it again if it matters what it looks like, but I might if only taste matters! Yum!

Then I covered it with icing. Crumb coat only. You know what that is, right? Really thin layer, on top and sides and a little more between the two layers of cake.

After the crumb coat of icing, I put the whole thing in the freezer for 20 minutes or so. It could have stayed in longer, but I did not have all day... When it was "chilled", I took out the leftover fondant and covered the cake with it.

It was not any easier to work with this time, so maybe I have the wrong recipe. It did still taste amazing. And it was much thinner this time, which is closer to what it is supposed to be, so that was good.

It was easy enough to roll out. I put it between two layers of waxed paper to make it easier to move. That went well. But when I tried to put it on the cake, it broke exactly where the paper was. (I had 2 sheets of waxed paper on the top and bottom.) Since this was just for the family, I just pushed it together with my fingers, but I would NEVER do that on a cake for others. I guess I just need a new recipe.

In the end, it tasted amazing, which was good since it was for the kids. But a new recipe is calling out to me...

Saturday's Deep Thoughts

There is nothing that can't be cleaned with a broom and a shop-vac.

More on podcasts

I know I have already said how much I love podcasts, but I thought I would go into it in a little more detail here.

I am spending ALL my spare time (and much of the time that is not spare) catching up on old episodes of the podcasts I love. The beauty of how I am using my software to manage my subscriptions – ok,iTunes – is that I do listen to the new ones as they are available, but the time it takes to do that and listen to all the old ones means that I always have those dang headphones in my ears! I need a good long roadtrip…

What it has shown me, though, is which podcasts are the most important to me because I found that I caught up on old episodes and only get new ones now of the few that I LOVE. I am listening to the oldies now of the ones I sort of love and the other ones have new episodes rotting on my playlist. When this whole experiment is over, I can easily find out what is not worth even keeping around by the order in which I listened to them.

I would love to share with you the ones that I love, but unless you have the same interests as I do, (which is highly unlikely!) I am not sure you would also love them. But I will share some of them nonetheless. I love ManicMommies, Munchcast, and Stuff You Should Know. I sorta love anything from the quick and dirty tips network, so I am listening to the Mighty Mommy, The Public Speaker, The Get it Done Guy, the Nutrition Diva, the Small Biz Tech Girl, and the Money Girl. All the others are languishing on my ipod.

I will admit there are a few things I keep on there to keep the kids occupied when we are out and about, like the couple of songs I have on there from Blues Clues, Diego, and the Naked Brothers Band. (Yes, I have a toddler and a couple of pre-teen boys!) I do keep a few things for them, but the vast majority is all mine.

Fingerless Gloves

Last week was the first day I wore my fingerless gloves out and about and I noticed two things, besides the fact that I love them. First of all, they are kinda big. Secondly, I feel like I am homeless with them on. You know how all the stereotypes of the homeless on TV or movies have them in gloves without the fingers. I felt that way with them on today. I did end up wearing them into a store, but wondered if I even should or if they would be watching me extra hard. I figured the rest of me did not look homeless, so I ended up feeling pretty safe, but that moment of doubt is really awful.